what being a mother means to me

A mother is someone who is always there for you. From the time you wake up until the time you go to bed. She gives advice when asked, she tries not to pry even though you think she is. She tries to make you happy when you are sad, she tries to do what is best for you even when you think she is annoying. She is excited for your achievements and is sad when you are sad. When you make bad choices she is not happy but tries her best to fix the situation and help you through it. When you are injured or sick she wants to make you feel better at any cost.

She hauls you to and from your athletic events and school functions.  She schedules and get you to haircuts, doctor appointments and rendezvous you have arranged with your friends even on the snowiest of nights. She brings you clothes shopping even though that's not her thing. She plans surprises and birthday parties, she has treasure hunts and hides Easter baskets even though you think you are too old. She colors eggs and carves pumpkins. She tries to remember everything you need to get done in that day without forgetting but sometimes it happens. She sews your clothes when they need mending, she makes Halloween costumes. She teaches you to ride a bike and tie your shoes. She goes without if there is something you need to have or she rearranges her plans to make sure you get to where you are going. She washes your clothes and tries to make meals you like.

She also is not perfect. She makes mistakes and loses her patience. She gets cranky when tired or sick. She snaps after reminding her kids 1000 times to do something they have been asked 1000 times to do. She doesn't want to be talked back to, she wants help when she asks for it, which isn't often and she doesn't want to be lied to. Plain and simple she wants to be loved like she loves you.

She does not get to choose whether she is a mother one day and not the next. She does not get to disappear for months or years at a time and then reappear in her children's life when it's convenient for her. She does not get to turn her children's lives upside down by leaving and then stroll back in as if nothing happened. She does not get to promise to always be there when she has not. She does not get to take credit for raising children, she did not raise. She does not have the right to say she has a "bond" when she has only created that in her own mind.

Mother's Days, birthdays and Holidays are difficult when you lose a parent. Even after 19 years I still struggle. I see myself more like my mother as i get older but I am definitely my own person. My mother was quiet until she laughed, patient until you tried that patience and kind until you upset her child. I am like my mother in one way, the one thing that will keep me from my children is death